It's the holidays, when we should all be thinking of family and friends, and treating each other decently. What better time for me to share my next in a series of travel tips for those of you who have to fly to get home for the holidays.
I have observed that there is something about the baggage carousel that brings out the obsessive compulsive in many of my fellow travelers. Why is it that when that thing starts spinning, all rules of common decency, not to mention the Marquis of Queensbury rules, go right out the window?
I have been pushed out of the way by little old ladies desperate to get what they think is their bag. I'm not kidding! Then, this otherwise docile woman asks me to help her lift the thing off of the carousel. I do so—I'm old school—but I desperately want to remind her that I cannot help her because she has just broken both my knees when she pushed me out of her way. Oftentimes after I hand crazy people their bags, they realize it's not theirs, and ask me to put it back on the carousel. I do so—I'm still old school. Actually, I want to beat granny over the head with a tire, but it's the holidays, so I refrain.
This phenomenon is not limited to the old. I've had the same experience with small Asian men, young kids, pretty girls...you name it.
I highly recommend, for your own personal safety, to stick with me. I'll be in the back with the sane people waiting for the feeding frenzy to subside. It's either that, or I'll be braking out a stun gun or cattle prod to shoo the crazies away from my knees.